The Waiting Game

The one thing I've learned about long distance relationships over the last seven months is that the last few weeks and days are the most difficult to get through. It's like that final push at the end of the semester where you only have one or two finals left but you have completely hit a wall. You feel like you cannot make it through those last days even though you've already made it through the countless projects, papers and ridiculously difficult tests. It doesn't matter though because those last few days feel near impossible.

That's the point that I'm at. I was just at this point a few weeks ago with school drawing to a close, days spent feeling like I am suffocating because there just aren't enough hours in the day. I've hit that point with waiting for Steven to come home. He has been gone for 124 days now, which truthfully is nothing compared to most deployments that couples face. We were lucky enough that his 6-8 month deployment was reduced to 120 days, a short four months. These last four months have gone by incredibly fast and through the strength God has placed within both of us, it hasn't even been that difficult. There have been many, many ups and downs but I can say with one hundred percent confidence that we have gotten one hundred percent stronger through this deployment.

Now I'm stuck playing the waiting game. We heard the word that his flight out of Qatar would be leaving at 430 AM Saturday morning Qatari time. That put him getting home on Sunday afternoon, early evening. I started to get excited, really, really excited. I wanted to pull out all of the stops for his homecoming, including a Memorial Day BBQ to celebrate. All of this came to a halt when rumors began floating around the base about the flight possibly getting moved back. I don't know any details at all, all I know is there has been talk of the team's flight out of Qatar getting moved back for a few days.

Truth be told, I don't care how many days it takes, I just want him home safely. But I also know that I'm mentally hitting a wall and it feels like I can only last a few more days without my best friend. In the end,   I know that God is powerful enough to give me the strength to not only hold on for a few days but for many more weeks or months. Now it's just a matter of waiting it out until he gets home and continuing to rely on God's strength, knowing I have none left of my own.